Some relationships can be so rewarding while some can be so frustrating. What if all of those relationships were a gift, a chance to grow personally, evolve your life, and help you relax a bit? Below is a theory I love about relationships and how they help us in our lives and careers.

Ready to Look in the Mirror

Relationships can be a tool for our evolution and growth because everyone is a reflection of ourselves. At a minimum, this perspective allows you to be more accepting of yourself and of others. At a deeper level, you can take on this perspective to open your eyes and ears for messages and opportunities you couldn’t previously see or appreciate.

See the Real YOU!

The idea is that the traits we see most clearly in others are the ones that are strongest in ourselves. The traits we really like in another and want to have more of are within the people we like, or even love. But, if there are traits in someone that really irritates us, they are reflecting  traits we have in ourselves that we’ve repressed. We deny these qualities in an effort to ignore we have a dark side and then project these very qualities on to others. This explanation can help us begin to embrace the co-existence of opposites within ourselves. And, we can start to see that no one is “perfect.” This orientation toward others and ourselves helps us to ease our judgments. In this more relaxed state of mind, we open up to more possibilities in our lives.


To further demonstrate this concept, I’m sharing an exercise adapted from Deepak Chopra’s course SynchroDestiny.

  1. Think of someone you really like or love.
  2. List 10 qualities about this person that you love.
  3. Think of someone who irritates or annoys you.
  4. List 10 qualities about this person that you don’t like.
  5. In the answer from #2, mark 3 qualities you find most appealing.
  6. In the answer from #4, mark 3 qualities you find most difficult.
  7. Read the 6 qualities out loud.  You are ALL of these qualities.

Once you see yourself in others, you’ll find it easier to connect with them and maintain emotional well-being.

To learn more about how we can become more open to messages we might not have been able to receive previously, check out my blog post: Wow, I Must Be Amazing!  Bet you are, too!

A version of this post appeared originally on InnerBrilliance Coaching.

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